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It’s been a good long while since my last Black Belt Dad post.
Dad is still very much NOT a black belt. In fact I am still a white belt….But a 4-striper now which means the next step is a big one, up to Blue Belt…but more on that later.
It’s been a few years of steady learning, lots of trial and error, and mistakes made…often more than once, if I’m honest. I slip into ruts and struggle to get out of them. I’ve been injured and had to slow right down. I bang my head into the same problems repeatedly, but very slowly, progress is made. Some things have come naturally and others still seem like witchcraft.
The same happens at home with a baby, and now toddler. We’ve made progress in many areas, but it came with many bumps and bruises, sighs and worries, sleepless nights and failed plans. Some things just kind of happened, others took many iterations of trial and error and some creative thinking. But looking back at 2 years ago….It’s a lot of progress. It takes the time it takes however.
The next step is always scary though. Being on the cusp of going to blue belt (if I may be so presumptuous) is mildly terrifying. Not only will I have to go through the actual ceremonial practice of the “Shark tank” - sparring with upward of 70 fairly fresh opponents for over 2hours, a gruelling physical and mental challenge - but the new mental space of not being a white belt is enough to make some people quit the sport all together.
The days of being wide eyed with amazement after every class, having been blown away by astounding techniques day after day, are over. By blue belt you kind of know most of the positions and the major submissions and escapes. You have an idea of the lay of the land. The process slowly moves towards slowly refining techniques and laying of game plans rather than the swift learning of “the basics”. The dopamine hits of discovering something new become fewer and farther between. You have to become ok with loving the process, because that’s what it’s going to be for a good while. The road to purple is VERY long, and the “Blue Belt Blues” have claimed many a victim along the way. The running joke of belt stereotypes is that blue belts quit.
Recent post Grading pic.
And once again, Jiujitsu echos life at home. Many of the big babyhood milestones are reached now at 3yrs old. We can walk, run, jump. We can talk (ENDLESSLY apparently!!). We can count to 10 (and 20 now and then when we focus). Potty training is largely done. She can open her own juice box (and often grabs one from the fridge herself when we aren’t looking actually!) feed herself, and complain about her food being too hot/cold/crunchy/soft or the wrong colour. Initially these things were huge but now they tend to become just day to day life and the “new” things are much rarer.
Life slows down, but I feel like it also deepens. We can talk about the colours of things, instead of just pointing to them. We can make up stories together instead of just naming things. We can play hide and seek or catch me if you can instead of simply being able to walk. Slowing down and appreciating the process is the new way forward. Refinement is the game.
So while I often get frustrated or worried, I remind myself that this is a long road and to love the process and focus on the present, not an end.